My Ramblings

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Of Passing Away and Death

Back in January, Amber attended a wake for the very first time. Her childminder's brother passed away suddenly. Amber had fond memories of him and hubs and I thought she should attend the funeral.

We knew it's not going to be an easy night. She'll ask lots of questions, neverending whys..

I explained to her gently, her friend, Wan Teng's father had passed away.
She asked why and the conversation went like that. ..

why pass away ? he sick ah ? die already ah ?
Yes, he passed away already. Oi oi already. Cannot wake up. Very sad.
Ahhh.. I know i know ! (earnestly).. there.. you send him to the hospital ah.. they put the oxygen thing.. then cannot die lor.
No, too late already. he has passed away.
why never send him to the hospital to put the mask ? (oxygen mask)
 Too late Amber. sometimes it's too late to send someone to a hospital.
Then ah.. pray to guanyin ma lar.. she will help him.
No, not that he didn't pray or guanyin didn't help but if a person is too sick, he will pass away.
take medicine la.. cannot help ah ?
cannot..  (at this point,, I kinda regretted telling her.. her 'CPU' was processing everything I say but a 4 year old cannot comprehend death)
so how, he oi oi cannot paii ah ? (paii is wake up in our hinghwa lingo)
yes, he will not wake up anymore, we'll bring you to see him and please don't ask anymore ok ?

During the wake, hubs asked Amber if she wanted to see Uncle Ah Keong for the last time. She wanted and so hubs carried her up. The little fart was not affected at all, probably still didn't quite understand death means eternity. Eternal loss.

All went well, sent our condolences and went home. I told her Uncle Ah Keong will be buried. Buried as in dig a hole and the box .. aka 'coffin' will be placed inside.

Days later.. she asked me..
Mama, Wan Teng's papa (Ah Keong) become skeleton already or not ?
Mama, Wan Tent's papa become like the Michael Jackson song Treeler already or not ??

she thought all buried humans will turn into zombies !

Such is the innocent (or not innocent) 4 year old !