Mince My Words

2 incidents happened and made me reflect my own words and actions. She's so smart and picks up everything we say and use it against us.

~Yesterday~
We were out at Thomas' car for dinner. She, me and little Sharon was seated at the back. She was restless and seated in the middle. In the midst of the motion, she accidentally knocked into Sharon. I said  'you hit Sharon'. I didn't mean hit as in deliberately but only accidentally.
She was defensive. No ! I did not !
I wanted to bring my point across and insisted she did and it was purely accidental.
She pointed out her fingers at me : I don't want to hear your sound !  (SHUDDUP !)

~Today~
Hubs was changing her pyjamas. She was cranky and in a foul mood, runny nose,  missing her afternoon nap and after pushing herself to do a page of homework.
Some argument ensued.. something about her taking off her clothes and putting on her pyjamas.
She chided her father : You think I have 8 hands ah ??
Hubs was fuming mad !


I remember clearly telling her off one day,  when she had wanted me to do something immediately but I was busy and my hands were full.  I did tell her if she thought I was an octopus ! I also told hubs her one day, if only I was an octopus, I can do this, this and that and she overheard. I also remember asking her to keep quiet when I wanted to shut her up.

She's picking up all the bad words and phrases from us. *SIGH*

I hv to mince my words carefully now and that's so, so, sooooo darn hard !

Would You Do This ?

Do you whack your child ? Cane her/him ? We may and must say sometimes I do when situation gets out of control (Sorry but I still believe in the 'traditional' method of discipline) but must know our limits and our child's too right ?

But then, on one occasion at Genting with my brother and his family, we bumped into this 'kiasu lady' who shouted at her child to run faster to be in queue for the next ride. My niece Sharlene and Amber got there first tho.. and she went on and on scolding her kid for not running fast enough. "You see... ask you to be faster .. you so slow.. you see ! YOU see ! YOU SEE !!!!! "

My sis in law was observing nearby (I was in toilet), sniggering and later told me about this 'kiasu lady' and when she came by, SIL, points her out to me.

I saw something and I couldn't stop laughing.. LOL !!!!

It took me a while to catch a snap of her discreetly, without her noticing .

Here she is :

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



She has a 'rotan' (cane) in her bag. OMG ! What kinda mom would bring a rotan on an outing ? She even brings it along to Genting Highland Themepark ! LOL ! !!!

Me and SIL had a real GOOD LAUGH !!!!!!!!!!!!

Between Extremities

She can throw the worst tantrums, be the tiniest monster on earth until I wanna tear my hair out

but

She can also be the sweetest of angels !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scene 1
-------
Lately, she 'lau kai' over the slightest things, she's not happy with the slightest thing and she can even be unhappy with the way the wind blows.
She'll scream and stomp and shout !

Once, I placed her on the kitchen island, lowering down my voice, talking sense to her (and I can't even remember what it was all over about, but it's something trivial), she screamed murder and with runny nose and sticky gooey flowing down, she shouted I Don't want Mama ! I want to 'lau-kai'

I pacified her.. she didn't give me a chance. She cried some more

So I fished out the camera and video-ed her.

She was so ANGRY ! She spitted at me ! ABOO !! ABOO !!

Fuyoh ! I was shocked but instead of calming her down, I laughed at her action!

Hubs saw from a distance, laughed also. Maid standing few feet away, laughed too.

That got her very very angry and shouted I DON'T WANT MAMA ! GO AWAY !

Then hubs turned angry and quickly took away. If you don't want Mama ! You go out !
Hubs threathen to throw her out of the house. After more screaming and upon reaching the grills, the crying stopped. All I can see is a 3 yr old, wanting to scream her lungs out but holding back, afraid of being thrown out of the house.

I can't understand why a little kid would have so much anger.

Scene 2
--------
In BIL's car during our Penang trip, she fought with cheh cheh over some toys. Cheh cheh asked her to stop playing coz she's very noisy!
She shouted : No ! You are naughty !
Cheh cheh : I am not naughty !
Amber : I AM ANGRY WITH YOU ALREADY !!
So, both of them sulked, not talking to each other and fell asleep !

Scene 3
--------
Not eating her meals,, I threatened, You want me to feed ? Or Kakak ? (Knowing she'll choose me over kakak)
Then maid walks over to us
Amber shouts : You go away ! Go far far away !!! (stomping her feet). I Don't Want You !

That got me very angry and start scolding her. Another episode ensued. Sei mou ? This goes on and on everyday !

Scene 4
--------
Puts on lotion for me (yes, me, the Mama) at night. She does it voluntarily. She'll masage my right shoulders and then left, right feet and then left, right thighs and then left :

Nice or not ? Hard enough or not ?
I use 2 hands ar.. nicer ok ?
Ok ! Turn around, Now I massage the other shoulder !
I massage for you .. because "I Love You" mah...

Then I asked her to massage my legs, which is very dry..

Aiyer ! Why Mama's leg so dry ah ?
You never take care of yourself ah ?
Come, come, Amber massage for you.
I massage you because I love you mah ..
See ? Nice or not ? Now not rough already.

Then I put smoothen the lotion she puts on for me (coz her 'application' is not smooth, a 3 yr olds hand can only do so much)
Mama, why you waste so much lotion ?
Need money buy wan you know ?
Don't waste so much lotion ok ?

(Imitates my exact words when I reprimand her about wasting lotion)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know which is the best method to discpline her. Caning and punishment doesn't work, I don't see her learningher lesson after few episodes from hubs.
I try to be patient but my patience doesn't last very long. I try to speak down to her level, explain to her and many a times, after a while, if she doesn't listen to me, I turn to a 'SCREAMING MONSTER'.

Sigh.. disciplining a 3 yr old is a tough job !!!

DISCIPLINE !!!!!!!!!!!

She really had it from me. She was at her car seat and suddenly I heard a ripping sound !

Turned around and saw her happily tearing her book. I was MAD !!!!

Why did you tear your book ?

*quiet*



The moment I reached home, I took her out of her car seat to stand on the floor.

"PIAK! PIAK!"

I smacked her buttocks, a couple of times.

She cried wailing !

Actually, I wasn't that mad with her but I want to make sure she learns lesson. I never have the upper hand in disciplining her and this time hubs is not around, I'M THE BOSS !!!

Like it or not, no one to run to, no legs to cling to except MINE !

She cried and wailed and refused to say sorry and peed on the floor (probably to scared and was screaming and crying anyway)

I smacked her some more for not saying sorry (Actually, my heart also ached, but I want to make sure she learns her lesson)

I did not want to talk or smile at her. I put on a very very ANGRY face !

When situation calmed down, I changed a pyjamas to put her to bed, I looked at her in the eye and said "AMBER ! LOOK AT MAMA IN THE EYE , NOW !!!, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU"

Her 2 small round eyes, stared at me.... and she laughed.. kekekeke....

STOP LAUGHING ! YOU WANT MAMA TO BRING THE CANE ??

Neh.. the cane is there ! pointing to the cane !

*kek sei ngor lor*

I gave her a long lecture, among the things I reinforced was :

-Papa & Mama work very hard to earn money
-Earn money to buy toys and books for you
-Many children do not have as many toys and books as you
-Love your books, take care of them

-Mama don't like to beat you
-Mama love you very much
-But you make Mama very upset, very angry
-We work hard for money to buy you things and you spoil them !


She quietly walked to her bed and I forced her to sleep alone while I 'work' in the attached study room to 'earn more money to buy more books' (actually I was surfing the net, hahahaha)

Then after a while, she called out 'Mama ! I scared'

I shouted "GO TO SLEEP". 10 minutes later, I checked on her and she's already asleep, as opposed to the usual sleep routine of singing, climbing all over the bed for 1 freaking hour before she finally knocks off !

For once she slept alone while I happily surfed the net.

I really felt bad and sad for her but I believe in discplining at the right time. She does something wrong, she face the music and I'll make sure she remembers coz I don't wanna be like a tape recorder nagging her day in day out. I want her to be on her guide and know when I'm angry.

I was brought up in a very strict environment. My parents believed in "spare the rod and spoil the child" so we had our rotan moments, bad till I remember it today ... hahahaha. My sis tells me that I have to be 'cruel to be kind'. It's so tough to hit her but this little girl will not listen or obey me, what else should I do. I love her too much allow her to grow up as a spoilt brat.

Sigh.. disciplining our child is tough isn't it ?

Amber kena 'sebat'

Amber's speech has improved tremendously over the past few months. She can talk to us about anything. This incident took place 2 nights ago.


Papa, I want to wash the milk bottle.


She loves playing with water and this little helper is no help at the kitchen. Washing anything means : 1) getting herself all wet 2) getting the kitchen sink and surrounding area all wet and 3) waste water .. and lots too. I've admit I let her 'play water' when I need to get things done , like when I'm baking and want her out of the way.


Papa : Cannot ! Cannot play water


Mama say can wor ..


Hubs was very sure she did not ask me and very sure I will now allow.


Papa : ???? Are you sure Mama say can ?


Yes, Mama say can..


then hubs confronted her eye to eye. The little fart knew she had it this time.


Papa : Amber, you cannot bluff. Papa know you are bluffing. Mama, did Amber ask you ?


Me : NO... (although pity the fart but she needs to be taught a lesson)


Papa : Why did you bluff ? Naughty children bluff. Next time police will catch you if you bluff. Guanyin Ma will know if you bluff and not love you.


Papa : Next time cannot bluff. "piak" her buttocks


Wahhhh!


Hubs "piak" another buttock, at least 3-4 times


WAHHHHHHHHH!!! WAAHHHHHHH !! tears rolling down like 'waterfall'


Papa : What must you say ?


sorry .. next time I cannot bluff. I cannot be naughty girl.


I felt sorry for the girl,but discipline is discipline. Hubs heart ached after whacking her but he wants to nip to problem at it's bud, otherwise telling a lie, nomatter how small will become a habit.

We gave her the cold treatment, even Mama did not go to her rescue. However after 15 minutes, we sayang her back and make her repeat again that she is NOT to bluff.

The Social Bird

We attended my cousin's wedding dinner last Saturday and what is Amber to do in a 3 hour dinner ? Find some fun of course. Little children, especially mine are not known to sit still, what more for a couple of hours.

She walked around, disturbing the bride and groom, danced on stage (alone and no one paid attention to her), sing karaoke -luckily no karaoke videos and the microphone was in 'off' mode and when the bride and groom did the toasting session with yum seng - Amber also yum seng along the stage was full of confettis.

So, my social bird went on stage, on all fours and had fun with confettis strewn on the floor. Me ?? I'm enjoying my dinner, 'mou ngan tai'. Last thing I want to do is be like a mad screaming mom, goingo on stage and get her to come down (which she would turn a deaf ear to!)


wah, so colorful and nice. hehehe..


mama, see ??? colorful wor...



then, Rachel cheh cheh join the fun



then more kids went on stage to sweep up the confettis. I'm sure they were bored while the adults were chit chatting and eating.

So, how many moms would have done like I did and let their kids run wild. Some may say I do not jaga my kid properly and get her to behave but to me it's harmless fun lah.. Can't expect to see me chasing her on stage right ??